Home is where...

“Oh, are you new? Awesome! Where are you from?”

If you grew up in the military like me, or have ever asked a military kid this question, the response probably went something like this…

“Uh…well…..originally I’m from Missouri…but I’ve moved around a whole lot so I’m from a lot of places….I just moved here from Germany…..I don’t know….”

Growing up in a military family, moving was just part of life. Of course leaving friends was hard, but you learned very quickly how to adapt, make new friends, and love the new place you found yourself in. New places, new adventures were always exciting, but with all the changes, I never was able to call one place home; rather, there was simply a list of all the places I’d been and home was where my family was.

My dad retired from the Army and moved my family to Arizona a little over 12 years ago, and being that I’m only 22 (almost 23) I’ve actually spent more than half of my life in the same place even though the first half we didn’t stay put for more than 2-3 years at a time…you would think that after 12 years, Sierra Vista would be home.

As it turns it out…it took leaving that place to realize just how much of an Arizona- girl I really am.

The GIGANTIC moving truck that moved my worldly possessions from AZ to GA. A little excessive, no? 

Like I said, I’ve moved a lot. So, when I moved to Georgia a little over a month ago to be with my husband while he finishes school for the Army, it was just another move to add to the list. But then I found myself doing something strange. As I met people at church or on base and the inevitable question was asked “Where are you from?” I didn’t stumble over my words. Instead, I found myself easily answering, “I’m from Arizona.”

And then the comparisons started:  the rain in Georgia doesn’t smell like the rain in Arizona; the stars aren’t as visibly bright here like they are in AZ; why is the air so thick? I can hardly breathe with the all the moisture. I really appreciate AZ being so dry; it’s so green here and I kind of miss the cactus in Arizona…..Arizona, Arizona, Arizona.  

Then, to top it all off, this past Sunday as I sat listening to the Pastor at our new church talk about reaching out to the Augusta community, I caught myself replacing “Augusta” each time with “Sierra Vista”.

It’s official – Arizona is in my blood.

I find now that I can easily list a dozen reasons why Arizona is where I am from:  Arizona grew me and made me who I am today; I met my best friends and my husband there; I adore the monsoons; the clear skies, starry nights, and desert beauty consistently take my breath away; no place will ever have sun sets that compare to those that go over Arizona mountains; I have church families there; I made plans and dreamed dreams for my life there….and the list goes on.

Easter at the Grand Canyon. 

Easter at the Grand Canyon - Sunset = Gorgeous. 

It’s a surprising and nice change to be able to say with confidence that I am from Arizona…And I discovered this just in time to move to a new place again. I finally found a home in the world, and now it’s time for me to move on. I have admit, this time it’s a little scarier. I’m older, a little shyer about making friends so easily, and certainly missing my community back ‘home’. But in all of this realization and moving, God has been reminding me that no matter where I go…I’ll always be home. Arizona may be where I am from, but home is where my family is, where my amazing husband is…and most importantly my true home is where the presence of Christ is.

The truth? We don’t belong in this world. We are part a bigger family, one that has a home in eternity with Jesus. As I settle in Georgia, and then continue to move over the next few years (and perhaps beyond that) I can take comfort in the fact that of all the new places and new adventures I will experience, none will ever be as close to home as belonging to the Kingdom of God is.

 I may be from Arizona…but I have a home that I can and never will leave.

 “Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread.”

Casey and I getting connected at Vineyard Church of Augusta.

(Lord of the Rings anyone?)

Further Up and Further In - The Beginning of Something

“We’ve all been blind - we’re only beginning to see where we are.”

I first heard the phrase “Further Up and Further In” from C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia:  The Last Battle. It is a cry of delight urging everyone to see that they are no longer in the Narnia they once knew, but rather in the real Narnia, one without beginning or end. They can now race through the real Narnia with rapturous joy towards Aslan’s garden, and as they go further into this garden, their joy only increases in abundance as does the beauty of the land they have entered  and the glory of Aslan.

I like to think that I have not quite been the same since reading Lewis’ creatively imagining of what it could be like when at last this world falls away and we enter a new world, one more real than we could ever guess as we walk with Jesus, our Aslan, eternally. And it seems, I am not the only one whose heart strings where struck by Lewis’ words. “My beating heart is bursting out my skin, to go further up and further in. Whatever it takes to bring me somewhere higher, be it rain or be it fire.” – Phil Wickham.  Or “But plant the seeds of toil and tears it’s beauty we will sow. Further up and further in, we have no place else to go. ‘Cause when all we have is all we need, it’s joy that we will sow.” – Audrey Assad.

The last year has brought many, many changes in my life. I graduated from school; married my best friend; lost loved ones and gained some; embarked on an adventure called becoming a military spouse; moved away from all my friends and family…just to name the big ones. Becoming a wife and stepping fully into the world of adulthood have made me question who I am, who I’ve been, and where I’m going. A bit of an identity crisis, if you will. Since moving to Georgia, I have found myself in a weird place…I have no really big plans. I have some projects to work on, things I need to do, but no more papers to write, no graduation applications to fill out, no wedding to plan, and no tickets to Africa to purchase. I’m in Georgia with my husband…and the rest is unknown.  

I’d be lying if I said that I’ve adjusted perfectly well and taken everything in with consistent grace and poise. Rather, there have been moments of tears and days I “just don’t know”.  But of course, God hasn’t’ left me there. Through Scripture, the counsel of friends, and lyrics to some of my favorite songs, I’ve been reminded of something I lost in all the shuffle. You see, there is one facet of my identity, what defines me above all else, that is unchanging and unwavering. I am a new creation in Christ and my purpose for living each day is to live with him, know him more, and strive to be like him.  I’m in a place that is uncertain at times, blind and am still only beginning to see where I am and where I’m going. But, just as Lucy, Edmund and the others run heedlessly through the true Narnia, I, too, get to go further up and further in. Unchartered adventures await Casey and I; some of them will fill our hearts with joy till we burst and others will fill us with sorrow, but as we ”plant the seeds of toil and tears it’s beauty we will sow. Further up and further in, we have no place else to go. ‘Cause when all we have is all we need, it’s joy that we will sow.” Each step of the journey will bring more joy and more beauty than the last.

There is no crisis here:  I am found in the love of a Savior and get to live with a most gracious husband. Being in a new place, nurturing these relationships, can be enough.  

So, in light of the “new” I find myself surrounded by and in the words of the honorable mouse, Reepicheep:

“Welcome in the Lion’s Name! Come Further up and Further in!”