Further Up and Further In - The Beginning of Something

“We’ve all been blind - we’re only beginning to see where we are.”

I first heard the phrase “Further Up and Further In” from C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia:  The Last Battle. It is a cry of delight urging everyone to see that they are no longer in the Narnia they once knew, but rather in the real Narnia, one without beginning or end. They can now race through the real Narnia with rapturous joy towards Aslan’s garden, and as they go further into this garden, their joy only increases in abundance as does the beauty of the land they have entered  and the glory of Aslan.

I like to think that I have not quite been the same since reading Lewis’ creative imagining of what it could be like when at last this world falls away and we enter a new world, one more real than we could ever guess as we walk with Jesus, our Aslan, eternally. And it seems, I am not the only one whose heart strings where struck by Lewis’ words. “My beating heart is bursting out my skin, to go further up and further in. Whatever it takes to bring me somewhere higher, be it rain or be it fire.” – Phil Wickham.  Or “But plant the seeds of toil and tears it’s beauty we will sow. Further up and further in, we have no place else to go. ‘Cause when all we have is all we need, it’s joy that we will sow.” – Audrey Assad.

The last year has brought many, many changes in my life. I graduated from school; married my best friend; lost loved ones and gained some; embarked on an adventure called becoming a military spouse; moved away from all my friends and family…just to name the big ones. Becoming a wife and stepping fully into the world of adulthood have made me question who I am, who I’ve been, and where I’m going. A bit of an identity crisis, if you will. Since moving to Georgia, I have found myself in a weird place…I have no really big plans. I have some projects to work on, things I need to do, but no more papers to write, no graduation applications to fill out, no wedding to plan, and no tickets to Africa to purchase. I’m in Georgia with my husband…and the rest is unknown.  

I’d be lying if I said that I’ve adjusted perfectly well and taken everything in with consistent grace and poise. Rather, there have been moments of tears and days I “just don’t know”.  But of course, God hasn’t’ left me there. Through Scripture, the counsel of friends, and lyrics to some of my favorite songs, I’ve been reminded of something I lost in all the shuffle. You see, there is one facet of my identity, what defines me above all else, that is unchanging and unwavering. I am a new creation in Christ and my purpose for living each day is to live with him, know him more, and strive to be like him.  I’m in a place that is uncertain at times, blind and am still only beginning to see where I am and where I’m going. But, just as Lucy, Edmund and the others run heedlessly through the true Narnia, I, too, get to go further up and further in. Unchartered adventures await Casey and I; some of them will fill our hearts with joy till we burst and others will fill us with sorrow, but as we ”plant the seeds of toil and tears it’s beauty we will sow. Further up and further in, we have no place else to go. ‘Cause when all we have is all we need, it’s joy that we will sow.” Each step of the journey will bring more joy and more beauty than the last.

There is no crisis here:  I am found in the love of a Savior and get to live with a most gracious husband. Being in a new place, nurturing these relationships, can be enough.  

So, in light of the “new” I find myself surrounded by and in the words of the honorable mouse, Reepicheep:

“Welcome in the Lion’s Name! Come Further up and Further in!”